


Love At Home

by vondrostes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Porn, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, COVID-19, Camping, Creampie, Double Penetration, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Genderfluid Harry, Harry Styles in a Dress, Horseback Riding, Implied Transphobia, M/M, Other, Outdoor Sex, Pregnancy, Pronoun Switching, Road Trips, Threesome, Trans Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:20:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24437335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vondrostes/pseuds/vondrostes
Summary: Everything felt wrong, right down to his bones, like he’d fallen headfirst into some kind of parallel universe without realizing. At least Harry was still with him in this one, too, Xander thought to himself with a touch of humor. Then they passed a flashing sign on the side of the road. Stay home, it read. Stay safe.
Relationships: Gigi Hadid/Zayn Malik, Xander Ritz/Harry Styles, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles/Xander Ritz
Comments: 6
Kudos: 64





	Love At Home

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this was technically canon compliant until Harry's bike ride retconned it. Warnings for a fair amount of quarantine-laden depression stuff, pregnancy dysphoria, general angst, etc.
> 
> Twitter: @vondrostes & @vondrostesupd8s  
> Tumblr: @vondrostes  
> IG: @vondrostesupd8s

“Do you think we made a mistake?”

The question came just after they’d passed the Nevada-Utah state line, at which point Harry had been urged to take some sort of survey on his phone about where they were going, how long they were staying, something to that effect. Xander didn’t even want to think about it more than he had to.

“I don’t know,” Xander finally replied, as honestly as he could. “Maybe.”

Everything felt like a mistake. Everything felt wrong, right down to his bones, like he’d fallen headfirst into some kind of parallel universe without realizing. At least Harry was still with him in this one, too, Xander thought to himself with a touch of humor. Then they passed a flashing sign on the side of the road. _Stay home_ , it read. _Stay safe_.

Maybe Harry was right.

It was too late to turn around and go back the way they came, though, so Xander kept driving.

In relative terms, however, they’d barely made any headway at all. They still had more than two-thirds of their journey ahead of them, and if the initial trek thus far was any indication for how the rest of it was going to go, Xander wasn’t sure he’d still be sane by the time they made it to Pennsylvania.

He comforted himself with the knowledge that once they got there, things would be different. Better. He’d be with his dad, his brother and sister. His nephew. And Harry’s family would still be an ocean away. Unreachable.

Xander looked over at Harry as he drove, catching his eye for a brief moment before focusing on the highway again. There was little traffic to deal with; there hadn’t been much when they’d left LA either, and usually, that sort of thing was a cause for celebration. In this instance, it had only cast a somber mood on their road trip before they’d even managed to break the county limits.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Xander asked as he glanced over again a good half an hour later to find Harry still staring intently down at his phone. There was no way he was still doing that survey, which meant he was probably on Instagram or something. Whatever he was doing, it made Xander uneasy.

“I’m not tired,” Harry mumbled.

Xander was tempted to point out that it didn’t matter if Harry wasn’t tired now if he ended up being too tired to drive later, but he didn’t think the reminder would go over too well. “Well, listen to an audiobook or something,” Xander suggested instead. “Do something relaxing.”

The attitude with which Harry jammed his earbuds into his ears made it evident that he had no intentions of following through on Xander’s advice.

Xander sighed quietly under his breath and kept driving.

If Utah had anything going for it, it was the scenery. Xander couldn’t say that the changing landscape was in any way boring, even if he would’ve rather been seeing it from outside the car rather than trapped behind the wheel, his body well on its way to developing several different cramps from having to hold himself properly for hours and hours on end. In sharp contrast, Harry had contorted himself into a number of different positions in the passenger seat, ending with his legs propped up on the dash in a way that made Xander nervous—he still remembered the horror stories about people’s legs being snapped off that his dad had used as a teaching moment when Georgia had been fifteen or sixteen and done the exact same thing.

Harry was still on his phone, Xander noted. Another bad sign. He would have felt better with a book in Harry’s hands. Or even if he’d just been staring out the window at the intricate rock formations passing them by. Anything but his phone.

“Jackie told you not to spend so much time on social media,” Xander said without really thinking about it, wincing at himself only after it had come out of his mouth, affording him the opportunity to hear for himself just how nagging it sounded.

“How do you know I’m on ‘social media’?” Harry asked, using his free hand to make air quotes as he finally glanced away from his screen for what must have been the first time in hours.

“You were making that face.”

“What face?”

“ _That_ face,” Xander replied unhelpfully.

Harry didn’t dignify that particular accusation with a response, instead turning his attention straight back to his phone and returning to whatever he’d been occupied with before Xander had interrupted him. Xander sighed quietly under his breath and kept driving.

A few hours later, there was a shift in reality. Xander wasn’t aware of it at first, but that all changed a good half-hour from the state line.

“Can we pull over?” Harry suddenly asked in a small voice from the passenger seat.

Xander glanced over at him in surprise. “Do you need to use the bathroom?” he wondered. They’d parked at a rest stop so they could both piss in the bushes less than two hours ago. And neither one of them had been doing much eating or drinking during the drive. It wasn’t really an option. They needed to get to Pennsylvania as soon as possible.

Stopping in the middle of Bumfuck, Utah wasn’t part of the plan.

The actual plan in its entirety had been thus: they’d gotten in the car early in the morning in LA, after deciding the previous night that the best option for everyone was for the two of them to spend the rest of the lockdown, quarantine—whatever the fuck people were calling it these days—with Xander’s extended family at the big farmhouse out in the Pennsylvania countryside. It was far enough from civilization that Harry wouldn’t have to worry about being photographed every time he stepped outside the house, and as much as Harry loved Jeff and Glenne, he was beginning to feel like they were all going a bit stir crazy trapped under the same roof like they’d been for the last few weeks.

The main problem with said plan was that Harry was refusing to fly under any circumstances. And Xander couldn’t really blame him. So they’d borrowed a camper van from a friend instead, promising to drive it back sometime when this was all over. It made Xander sick to his stomach to even think about how long it might go on, so he tried not to even guess at a time frame.

They were supposed to drive in shifts, each for as long as they could stand, alternating until they absolutely had to stop in the interest of their own safety as well as anyone else who happened to be out on the road. They’d anticipated being able to manage at least sixteen hours between them, eighteen if they were lucky. If they stuck to that schedule exactly, they would reach the family house in Pennsylvania in just three days.

By Xander’s calculations, they were only at hour ten out of the forty-two in total that it would take to reach their destination. And for some reason, Harry was already asking to stop.

“I thought we were going to stop in Nebraska,” Xander protested. As much as driving was taking its own toll, he didn’t want to be trapped in a van for any longer than was strictly necessary. And since their options for finding accommodations were fairly limited, making an extra stop would mean either adding an additional day of driving to their itinerary or finding entirely new places to camp that wouldn’t put them behind schedule.

“Please?” Harry asked, his eyes clearly betraying the fact that whatever had compelled him to throw a wrench in their plans was indeed serious.

Xander sighed. “Okay,” he finally agreed. “Try and find somewhere nearby that we can stop for the night.”

It was a little easier said than done, but luckily for them, southeast-central Utah wasn’t exactly a bastion of civilization. After a bit of desperate Googling, Harry managed to find a spot that didn’t require Xander to turn around and go back the way they’d come, and that was about all he could ask for in that moment.

They ended up at a free campsite off a winding dirt road in the middle of nowhere. It was up on a plateau that afforded a fairly panoramic view of the mountainous desert below, and as Xander stepped out of the van to take a look around and make sure there weren’t any signs warning against trespassing that they’d missed, he couldn’t help but wish they were camping there for real instead of out of necessity.

“It’s pretty isn’t it?” Xander commented as he stood back a few yards from the edge of the plateau, beneath which the rock steeply sloped down into a shallow canyon below. When Harry didn’t respond, Xander turned to find him sitting in the back of the van, the trunk up but not rearranged in anyway. Harry’s phone was still in his hands.

Xander sighed again and stomped over to him, snatching Harry’s phone out of his hands and very pointedly pressing the power button to turn it off. “No more phone, okay?” he said, feeling like a middle-aged mother scolding her wayward teen for not taking in the sights properly. Xander refused to feel guilty about imposing boundaries, however; they both knew that Harry spending too much time being exposed to other people’s unfiltered thoughts and feelings was never a good thing.

Harry frowned but didn’t put up a fight, instead slipping off of the rear bumper and moving around to the front of the car instead to grab something from his seat.

Xander ignored him for the time being and set about taking care of the unexpectedly arduous task of rearranging the inside of the van so that they had a place to sleep for the night. They hadn’t brough a lot with them, but it was enough that much of their luggage needed to be moved into the front seats to save space in the back. Once there was enough room to do so, Xander finally pulled out the pillows and blankets and began setting up a cozy little bed for the two of them that faced out through the open rear doors of the van.

It wasn’t until Xander had practically everything set up that he realized Harry hadn’t ended up helping him at all. He emerged from the back of the van, annoyed initially, then worried when he looked around the campsite only to see no sign of Harry at all.

Xander tamped down the desire to immediately freak out. It wasn’t like he could’ve gone far. He slowly walked around the camp, not wanting to start yelling Harry’s name for fear of potentially attracting unwanted attention—not that he thought anyone would really be around to hear him, but still. He’d decided it was a last resort.

Xander finally found Harry sitting against a large boulder on the opposite end of the plateau, completely encapsulated by the large rock from the point of view of anyone standing on the other side. Xander’s face started to pull into a smile of relief, but then he noticed Harry’s posture, the way he was sitting with his knees tucked up against his chest and his head buried between them.

Xander knelt down beside him without saying a word and carefully pulled Harry’s hands away so that he had no choice but to meet Xander’s eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked in a gentle tone.

Harry gave the slightest shake of his head. “Not right now,” he replied.

Xander nodded, deciding it was probably best if he left it alone for now.

Harry sniffled a little; wiped at his face. “Can you get my dress out of my bag?”

Xander paused. He knew what that meant, but he hadn’t been expecting it. It took him a moment to process the request. “Which one?” he asked.

“Yellow,” Harry replied. “The sundress.”

Xander nodded and climbed back to his feet again so he could do as she’d asked.

Harry often didn’t like to spell things out: her needs, wants, desires. It had taken her a long time to arrive at the point at which she felt able to ask for those things, but it was more difficult to expect her to voice them aloud. There were subtle signs, an unspoken language between the two of them. Harry’s dress.

Xander busied himself with getting their portable campfire set up in the open space behind the van while Harry stripped down to nothing but a pair of soft black panties in front of him. She stood there like that for a long time, her head bowed as she stared down at the deep yellow dress in her hands, her curls blowing into her face as the wind started to pick up.

“You okay?” Xander asked, deciding it was time to check up on her again.

Harry looked up, seeming startled by the question, and then hurriedly nodded before pulling the dress over her head and smoothing it down with a practiced smile. “Fine,” she said. “Just fine.”

But as they ate in silence around the fire as the sky started to darken, it became increasingly clear to Xander that Harry wasn’t fine at all.

He didn’t know what to say when she asked him to put out the fire, before climbing abruptly into his lap in the dark, kissing him long and deep and sad. Xander was certain he could taste salt on his tongue, her tears spilling into his mouth as she rocked down onto his lap, desperately seeking to get even closer.

Harry rode him in the back of the camper, her dress bunched around her hips and his hands cupping the warmth of her thighs as he drove up into her again and again and again. The sunroof above them was open to the air, affording Xander an unmatched view of the stars as he stared up into the sky while Harry rocked down onto his cock, clearly seeking her own pleasure over his as they fucked. Xander couldn’t blame her for that.

It took Xander a long time to fall asleep afterwards. He stared up at the constellations above him instead as Harry softly snored into his armpit, fervently wishing that they were looking up at the same stars with different eyes instead.

When Xander woke in the morning, there was an unfamiliar face peering through the glass at him from the window in the back of the van. He shot upright, reaching for—something, he didn’t even know—before realizing that the man staring at them was dressed unmistakably in a highway patrol uniform.

“Shit,” Xander muttered to himself as he shuffled out of the blankets that he’d woken up tangled in next to Harry so he could unlatch the back doors and let himself out. The instinctive fear he’d felt upon first being faced with an unexpected presence had now been replaced by an all-too familiar dread.

“Morning, sir,” the cop greeted in a surprisingly cheerful voice.

“Good morning,” Xander replied politely as he slid out onto the van and quickly pulled on his shoes. “We aren’t on private property, are we?”

The officer shook his head. “Nope, but camping’s being discouraged at the moment. Is it just the two of you?”

Xander nodded.

“How long were you planning on staying? The limit’s usually fourteen days, but you won’t find any amenities nearby and the parks are closed. We’d rather not send anyone out here looking for you if you get into trouble, you get me?”

“We were just staying the night,” Xander explained. “We thought it would be better than going to a motel.”

“And where are you headed?”

“Pennsylvania.” Xander watched as the officer’s expression shifted to reflect some of his surprise. “My family’s quarantining there, and we thought it would be better if we were with them.”

The officer nodded in understanding. “Right. Well, when you leave, just make sure you take everything with you. The road back to the highway is pretty straightforward; just don’t make any turns until you get back to the pavement.”

Xander nodded and exhaled a premature sigh of relief as the cop took a step back, starting to turn around and go back to the truck parked at the very end of the road just as Harry shot bolt upright, her dress falling down around her shoulders, and her day or two of stubble dark and very visible against the pale skin of her jaw.

The officer stared at her for a long moment, something ugly and painfully recognizable building behind his eyes. “Oh,” was all he said before spinning away from them and marching off through the gravel, but it was enough to leave a twisting, awful sensation in Xander’s stomach that lingered well after they’d gotten everything packed up and ready to go for the second leg of their trek.

There was some discussion over who was going to drive first; Harry volunteered quickly since Xander had driven the entire stretch the day before, but Xander preferred getting in his driving time early, especially since he’d already had the chance to get a bit of rest between. In the end, he won the argument, but mostly because Harry didn’t seem all that invested in dragging it out.

Xander told himself that he wasn’t disappointed when Harry changed out of the yellow dress and back into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt just before they left.

They didn’t make much conversation as they drove the rest of the way to the state line, but once they passed the sign welcoming them to Colorado, Xander didn’t think he could stand the silence any longer.

“We should talk about what’s been going on,” Xander said gracelessly. “I think.”

He glanced over at Harry to find him staring stubbornly out the window, refusing to acknowledge him.

“Harry—” Xander started to say, only for Harry to spin around unexpectedly with a strange light in his eyes.

“Focus on driving,” Harry said in a low tone.

Xander turned his head to do just that, having decided that getting Harry to open up was clearly an exercise in futility. He just wasn’t expecting to find Harry’s hand worming its way between his thighs in the next few seconds, making short work of the tie on his joggers before managing to wrap his fingers around the base of Xander’s cock.

Xander hit the brakes instinctively, sending them both jerking forward in their seatbelts. Harry’s head narrowly missed the dash by mere centimeters. The jolt was enough to dislodge Harry’s hand from Xander’s joggers, but they’d barely gotten back up to speed again before Harry was diving in for a second attempt.

This time, Xander couldn’t ignore it.

“Harry. Harry!” When Harry didn’t stop, Xander was forced to take one hand off the wheel to grab Harry by the wrist and wrench his hand away. He glanced over at him, startled by the insistence with which Harry was trying to fool around while they were doing eighty-five on the highway. After already having encountered one cop too many this trip. “What the hell is up with you?” he demanded. It wasn’t hard to guess that it had something to do with the foul mood Harry had been in since Moab, or whatever tiny tourist trap in Utah they’d been driving through when things had taken a severe turn.

Once again, Harry refused to answer. He gave Xander a vaguely disgusted look before turning his head back toward the window again and propping himself up on one arm. “I’m going to sleep,” he announced meaningfully.

Xander just stared ahead at the open road in front of them and shook his head in disbelief at how this trip had turned out.

Xander waited until Harry was fast asleep before pulling off to the side of the road. They were somewhere between Grand Junction and Denver, but truth be told, Xander hadn’t been paying much attention to the signs or mile markers on the side of the road. He’d been too worried about whatever the fuck was going on with Harry right now. If it kept up for the remaining two days of driving, Xander didn’t think he could bear it.

Xander was one of the few people who had been given Harry’s passcode, and he typed it in carefully after reaching over to pluck Harry’s phone out of the pocket on the passenger side door. It was a delicate procedure—Xander had to lean fully over Harry’s slumbering form to get to the phone and somehow settle back into his seat without rocking the car hard enough to wake Harry up.

Thankfully, Harry was a fairly deep sleeper.

Xander didn’t feel the least bit guilty about what he was doing. He knew that Harry didn’t have anything to hide, that whatever he was upset about was just something he didn’t want to trouble Xander with, and that no matter how much Xander needled and prodded him for an answer, if Harry had decided that they didn’t need to have a discussion about something, he wouldn’t get one.

Xander couldn’t say he was surprised, exactly, when he finally found the message in question, the one that must have triggered Harry’s melancholia nearly a day ago. It was nothing more than a link, sent by a number that wasn’t saved to Harry’s contacts. When Xander opened it, his eyes went wide.

Zayn Malik was expecting a child with girlfriend Gigi Hadid.

Well, no fucking wonder Harry was so upset, then.

Xander stared at the article for a few minutes more, reading it top to bottom before returning Harry’s phone to where he’d taken it from. He waited a couple seconds before easing his foot back onto the gas, his mind racing with what he’d just learned. This was all a fucking disaster.

Xander continued to feel more and more unsettled as he drove. When he stopped in Frisco for gas, he contemplated waking Harry up and having a conversation about things right then and there, but he chickened out at the very last second, with a hand hovering over Harry’s shoulder for a moment before being snatched back again. He didn’t want to sour this trip even more.

Harry woke up just before they reached Denver, but he said nothing after stretching and yawning himself back into consciousness, instead staring silently out the window at the passing scenery. They finally switched places after passing the Nebraska state line, when Xander finally decided that he couldn’t take much more of the discomfort that came with a long drive like this.

It was worse being the passenger, though, Xander soon discovered. He didn’t know how Harry had managed for this long, because after just an hour of sitting there with nothing to occupy himself with, Xander already felt like he was starting to lose it.

Maybe that’s why he opened with, “I took your phone earlier,” rather than something with a little more tact behind it.

To Harry’s credit, he barely reacted to Xander’s statement. “Okay?” was all he said in reply, his eyes still fixed on the road ahead.

Xander sucked in a deep breath before continuing. “I saw the article,” he explained. “About Zayn?” He could see Harry’s knuckles tightening almost infinitesimally around the steering wheel, but there was no response. “Is that why you’ve been so…upset?” Xander asked, refusing to let it go even though it probably would have been the easier thing to do.

“What do you think?” Harry replied harshly.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

Xander stared at Harry’s profile for a few seconds, noting the tension that seemed to be embedded in every muscle in his neck, shoulders, and arms. “Well, I think we need to talk about it,” he decided. “You and Zayn used to sleep together, didn’t you?”

“Why do you care?”

Xander sighed loudly. “I’m trying to help,” he said in a pleading tone. “Stewing over this alone isn’t going to make you feel any better.”

“You’re not my therapist, X.”

“And she’s not available until next week,” Xander pointed out. “So I’m all you’ve got in the meantime.”

It took another few minutes for Harry’s grip on the steering wheel to finally relax, and then another minute or two after that before he opened his mouth again to respond. “Yeah,” he said. “I used to let Zayn fuck me when we were nineteen, twenty. It didn’t last long.”

It had clearly lasted long enough if Harry was still this hung up on Zayn’s present-day relationships. Xander knew that Harry’s…envy, for lack of a better word, didn’t extend wholesale to any pregnant person who happened to have a connection to Harry in some way. There was something deeper, something of himself that Harry saw in Gigi, that must have caused this type of reaction.

Xander slid a hand across the center console, extending it toward Harry in offering. Harry hesitated a moment, and then took it, his breath leaving his lungs with a long, shuddering sigh.

“Zayn was the first bloke I ever slept with who got off on ‘pretending’ I was a girl,” Harry explained simply. “He used to…we didn’t have to use condoms like he did with the groupies and the one-night-stands, so he would—he’d talk about knocking me up, getting me pregnant.”

Xander tightened his hold on Harry’s fingers, squeezing them as though to reassure Harry that he was listening.

Harry huffed out another sigh. He swallowed hard before continuing. “But that was a long time ago,” he finished.

Clearly, not long enough.

Somehow, the remaining twenty-something hours of their cross-country drive felt much shorter than the first stretch. Harry seemed calmer even though the shroud of Gigi’s pregnancy was still hanging over them, very much there in way that felt distinctly strange to Xander, who had never even met the woman.

Things were slightly better once they reached the family house in Pennsylvania.

The place had belonged to Xander’s maternal grandfather before he’d passed, and he supposed someone in that family line must have been the one to build it. Or had commissioned its being built, at least. All Xander knew is that the house had never belonged to anyone else.

It was a fairly imposing structure, renovated many times over the years, but there were signs here and there of it showing its age. Harry was enamored with it, of course. Love at first sight.

Xander had foolishly thought that Harry would gradually forget all about Gigi’s pregnancy with the distraction of a baby and the entirety of Xander’s extended family to entertain, but instead he found himself watching a bell curve in real time. Harry’s mood peaked on the third day they spent at the farmhouse before beginning a gradual decline that ended with Harry being just as foul-tempered as the day they’d driven through Utah.

After a full week, Xander was desperate to cheer Harry up in any way he could. “Why don’t we take the horses out for a bit?” he suggested over breakfast. “The trails should be open, but we can just ride around the property if they’re not.”

Harry hesitated, but there was no question as to what his response would be. Harry loved their horses. The yes was inevitable.

But before they went down to the stables, Harry insisted on getting changed first. Another dress, this one a soft lavender, soft and flowy. She wore Georgia’s borrowed breeches underneath and asked Xander’s cousin, Trina, to braid her hair before they left. She looked beautiful as they walked across the wide lawn under the late morning sun filtering through the trees, but she didn’t look happy.

“You doing okay?” Xander asked as he reached over to rub the back of her neck.

Harry nodded. “Yeah, of course,” she replied easily, which was a sure sign that she wasn’t doing well at all.

They quickly saddled up Kingston and Arabella, who had been gifted to Harry by Xander’s aunt and uncle after seeing how taken the two were with each other, and headed out for the trails.

It was a lot quieter than Xander was used to out on the equestrian trails that passed closed by the property, zigzagging between a dozen or two farm properties that lay nestled in the trees. There was always a feeling of peaceful solitude when he came out to the farmhouse, but it was exacerbated this time. It felt like they were the only two people in the whole world.

That made it all the more unexpected when they finally stumbled across another human being after nearly an hour of riding, at which point Harry was sweat-rumpled but clearly in a better mood than she’d been in before they’d left.

Xander passed by the other rider and his horse carefully and then turned to watch as Harry did the same. His jaw dropped when he caught sight of the stranger’s face. Because he wasn’t a stranger at all.

Xander stopped short in the middle of the trail, causing Zayn—who was riding a large gray mare that looked too big for his slim frame—to stop short too, his eyebrows pulling together in an angry expression.

“What the hell, man?” Zayn demanded, his accent sticking out like a sore thumb in the wilds of Pennsylvania and causing Harry to spin around to face him with wide eyes.

“Zayn?” she said, clearly flabbergasted.

Zayn’s expression quickly morphed into one of recognition. “Oh,” was all he said in response.

“Maybe we should get off the trail,” Xander suggested. “Just in case someone comes by.”

Zayn and Harry continued to stare at each other for a few more seconds without responding before Harry finally nodded and turned Arabella out into the grass, where they had a bit more room to dismount.

Xander didn’t know if this was the best thing that could have happened or the worst, but it was something that they had to deal with either way. Zayn seemed similarly unsure of what his reaction to seeing Harry should have been. Xander remembered that they hadn’t spoken since Zayn had left the band. That had been five long years ago. A lot of things had changed since then.

Not insignificantly, the fact that Harry was out riding in a dress, her nails painted, eyelashes curled, and lips a bright petal pink that most certainly wasn’t natural. Zayn would have had to be blind not to notice.

He didn’t have the same reaction as the cop they’d run into, though, which Xander supposed made sense given what Harry had said about their sexual history together. If Zayn had been hip (in his own way) to Harry’s hidden depths all that time ago, then maybe Harry finally putting herself out there for the world—or at least the Pennsylvania countryside—to see wasn’t all that shocking.

Zayn stood awkwardly by his horse after climbing out of the saddle. He had the reigns clutched in his hands as he stared at Harry, looking unsure of what to say or do. “I’d give you a hug,” he finally told her, “but I don’t know if I’m allowed.”

Harry took a reflexive step closer and then paused. “We all got tested again after we got here,” she informed him. “Ours all came back negative, so….”

“Yeah, so did mine,” Zayn replied.

“Guess Gigi can’t say the same,” Harry replied, the quip leaving her mouth lightning fast, too fast for her to think better of saying it. There was a beat of silence after the joke fell flat between them, and Xander had the sense that Zayn knew what Gigi’s pregnancy meant to Harry just as much as Xander did himself. Harry’s blush was all too visible as she struggled to revive the conversation. “She is doing okay, though, right?” she asked earnestly.

Zayn nodded. He still hadn’t moved any closer despite what he’d said about giving her a hug. “Yeah,” he replied. “Yeah, her and the baby—everything’s fine.” Finally, he took a step toward her, extending his hand out for Harry to take.

Harry glanced uncertainly at Xander as though seeking permission. It wasn’t necessary, but Xander nodded for her to go ahead anyway.

It was strange watching them embrace, knowing that they’d been far more intimate than that in the past despite their years of separation. It was even stranger for Xander, who was all too aware of the fact that Zayn had been inside her before Xander had even known she’d existed.

Zayn must have been following along a similar train of thought, because when he finally pulled away, there was a strange look in his eyes as he said, “You know Gigi knows I—it’s not like it was with Perrie, before.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “Are you propositioning me?” she asked.

Zayn looked over at Xander. His expression was still impressively detached despite the fact that he was apparently asking Harry for a fuck in front of the person she was currently fucking, and despite the fact that Harry knew full well that he had a pregnant girlfriend back home.

“I figured he wouldn’t care,” Zayn said simply, “knowing you.”

It was the sort of thing that made Xander want to intervene, but he held his tongue, letting Harry handle it herself. She knew the intricacies of communicating with Zayn far better than Xander did. Before today, Xander had met Zayn only twice.

Harry’s rosy blush turned fire engine red. “We’re outside,” she pointed out.

“That never used to stop you,” Zayn retorted.

Once again, she looked at Xander, waiting for his reaction before proceeding. He wasn’t going to tell her no.

“Well, I’m not…” Harry said as she turned back around to face Zayn. “We can’t do it here,” she insisted.

Zayn hopped back into the saddle in one fluid movement. “Lead the way, then.”

Xander wasn’t sure what to expect when they reached the pond on the far side of his family’s property, well away from any would-be prying eyes. He’d had his fair share of group sex courtesy of Harry, but this was all new territory for both of them. Should he even expect to participate? To watch? Should he just leave them on their own to work their shit out?

Xander hung back a little as Harry spoke to Zayn in hushed tones. After a few minutes, she made her way over to Xander, who was still sitting in Kingston’s saddle, waiting, while Zayn pulled a blanket from the back of his saddle and started to spread it over the grass in preparation for whatever they’d decided to do.

Xander slipped out of the saddle as Harry approached and gladly pulled her into him, close enough that it felt like they were breathing the same air.

“You’re sure you’re okay with this?” Harry murmured, her expression a bit pained, and it wasn’t the first thing he expected her to say. “I know it’s not the way these things usually go.”

That was an understatement. Xander shrugged, putting on an air of careful nonchalance as he replied. He didn’t want to unintentionally sway her one way or the other. “As long as it’s what you want to do,” he reassured her. “I’ll be wherever you want me to be.”

“He doesn’t care if you stay,” Harry said quickly, with no small amount of chagrin. “He’ll probably get off on that, if anything.”

“You don’t think it would be different now?” Xander wondered.

Harry was quiet for a long moment. “I don’t know,” she finally replied.

Xander still wasn’t sure what to expect as he approached the blanket Zayn had set out, hand in hand with Harry, letting her lead the way. She let go of him when they finally reached the little space Zayn had made for them, and she sank down onto her knees quickly, not waiting for an invitation before undoing Zayn’s belt and pulling his cock out into the open air.

Xander watched with almost studious curiosity as she sucked Zayn off, curious how it would compare to the way she sucked him off, or any of the rest of her regular stable of sexual partners. There were always quirks, little differences here and there, things that one person liked that another didn’t, and somehow Harry managed to keep a catalogue of those differences in her head at all times.

Zayn seemed to like it hard and fast, his cock hitting the back of her throat on every thrust until his fingers started to tighten in her hair, signaling that she should stop unless she wanted him to come.

Harry pulled off his cock with an evaluating expression. She glanced between the dick in her hand and Xander, her mind clearly putting something together as she looked at the men on either side of her. “Do you think I could take you both?” she asked, as innocently as if she’d been commenting on the weather.

Xander had to press the palm of his hand against his groin, wincing at the sudden surge of increased blood-flow in response to her query.

“You’ve taken more than that,” Zayn said confidently.

He was right, she had, but Xander had to wonder just what event in particular Zayn was referring to. It didn’t matter, he reminded himself. Harry had fucked plenty of people before him, and plenty of people after. He’d never been jealous before. Not like this, anyway.

“Where do you want me, H?” Xander asked in a throaty voice.

After a few more moments of contemplation, Xander ended up on his back, his cock inside her as deep as he could get it while Harry leaned back against him, his arm lodged securely under her tits to keep her from rolling off. He couldn’t see what Zayn was doing, but he could feel his fingers pressing inside Harry along the shaft of his cock, stretching her open as she whined and squirmed in Xander’s arms.

She was still wearing her lavender dress, Georgia’s breeches discarded in the grass next to them.

Xander had seen Harry take a fist before. He’d seen her nearly manage two, and she’d taken two cocks, two dildos, eight fingers, more times than he could count. Still, it nearly knocked the wind out of him at how fucking tight she got when Zayn finally breached her cunt with his cock, the two of them stretching her wide enough that she went tense all over, shuddering and shaking in Xander’s arms like she’d been impaled—which in a way she had.

“You okay, baby girl?” Zayn asked, surprising Xander with both the tone and the term of endearment itself. He hadn’t realized their sexual relationship had been quite that…well, enlightened, for lack of a better word.

Harry nodded, her head bumping into Xander’s chin as Zayn slowly pulled almost all the way out of her before fucking in again. She let out a loud squeal as he thrust inside her, and then another, and another, until Xander had to close his eyes and focus on anything _but_ Harry just to keep himself from coming prematurely.

Zayn was the first to come, and Xander could feel warmth splattering against his own balls as Zayn pulled out. Still, he wasn’t squeamish about shoving his fingers back into the mess he’d made, quickly working four into the space his cock had cored out inside of Harry so he could rub against her prostate until she was a quivering, drooling mess against Xander’s chest.

Once Harry had come, Zayn retracted his fingers, allowing Xander to flip her over onto her stomach so he could take his turn as well. Xander was well aware of Zayn’s eyes on him as he flipped up the hem of Harry’s dress before plunging back into her, thrusting half a dozen times before he was coming deep inside her with a groan as well.

Xander rolled off her as soon as he was satisfied and blinked a few times to find Zayn hovering over him with a handkerchief clutched between his fingers. “I bring a few with me,” Zayn explained as he offered him the soft piece of fabric to clean up with. “Sometimes I spend a few hours out here. It can get pretty hot during the summer.”

“I know,” Xander replied distantly. He wiped himself down as he struggled to process what had just happened in addition to the fact that apparently he and Zayn were neighbors. What were the odds?

Xander kept an eye on Zayn as he helped clean Harry up, but he tried not to be too obvious about it. He didn’t want to come across as the overbearing, possessive boyfriend, even if he’d been feeling pangs of that during this whole experience. He didn’t resent Harry for going through with it, though. Not one bit.

“Maybe we’ll see each other around,” Zayn said after all was said and done, after they’d had a chance to get cleaned up and redressed and back in the saddle, with little evidence to show for what they’d done.

Harry nodded, her knuckles bone white around Arabella’s reigns. “Yeah,” she said. “That’d be nice.”

There was nothing stopping Zayn from turning his horse around then and going back the way he’d come, but he simply continued to stare at Harry for several more seconds, until the silence turned uncomfortable and reached its inevitable breaking point.

“I always cared about you,” he told her.

Harry didn’t reply, but Xander could read the words plain as day on her face. _But just not enough._


End file.
